Out of the Blues
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I'm not sure if I've discussed this before, but I have a history with depression. I spent my late twenties and the majority of my thirties on antidepressants. And even though I've now been off them for six years, I still occasionally feel the tug of that dark place, characterized in me by extreme lethargy, lack of motivation, and an all around blah feeling.
But one doesn't spend nearly 15 years depressed and come out the other side without learning some coping mechanisms. There are two things that really help me. Yep, I have the pity party, but now I set a time limit on it. At the end of that time limit, I have to accomplish something. It can be a really damn small something—clean the toilet, takes two minutes—but I have to do something productive. For me, this gives the needed boost to the ol' self esteem (who doesn't feel a bit better with a clean toilet?), and I find that one accomplishment begets another. Getting myself out of depression tends to result in clean cupboards, an organized junk drawer, and so forth. Once I've started to have a few small wins, moving becomes step two. Stress and depression are both proven to decrease with physically moving one's body. So for me, I run. The one-two combo punch of these tricks usually help me get "unstuck" as long as I haven't been sliding down for very long.
Now, this is from someone who has had depression and worked out of it using other help mechanisms. Sometimes when it's really bad, that accomplishment is getting out of pyjamas and into regular clothing. Sometimes that physical activity is walking to the corner and back. But if one could ever be said to be grateful for depression, I'm grateful that I've learned how to keep an eye on it, and learned what works for me when I feel the downward spiral take hold.
Let's just say that this week, I have a clean bathroom, spent a LOT of time on my Greek language apps (I was allowed to veg out on the couch so long as I was doing something productive), and just came back from a run. I'm feeling much better now.
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